Sunday!!

I started doing this large group gathering for singles that is studying Chip Ingram's, "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships" curriculum. The curriculum itself is really good and insightful, but then we broke into small groups. Of the 8 people in my group, three women drove me absolutely bonkers. Like I said, I began having a panic attack because I just wanted to get away from these people but didn't know how to or what to do. They were monopolizing conversation, sharing way too much personal information, and were very immature in their understanding of everything.

What I learned about myself in the situation was that I am very judgmental and while I may not be monopolizing conversation, I am wanting to control it in different ways.

I think that you should both download it and listen to it yourself because it's just awesome
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Basically Ben said that when you take to heart a perverted version of the gospel that someone is trying to yoke you with (a la, don't touch alcohol, wear this, act like that) that isn't black and white in the bible you are making them your jesus. He talked about how he longed for us to find true freedom (which is messy) instead of settling for a cheap and easy list of do this, don't do that.
I was in tears.
Also, during the talk our worship leader got a tattoo on stage and the song right before the talk the band performed Run This Town by Jay-Z with the rap part mashed up to talk about believers getting so entangled in arguments about what to wear, drink, read, watch, think, say that they lose sight of the freedom Jesus came to give us through His Grace.

So amazing.

wow, that sounds great Bethany, I will try to listen tonight!

Melissa, I don't know, maybe you are judgemental, BUT sometimes people are annoying....and you don't have to be judging them to see it! The controi thing....you are a teacher, so I imagine you are a control freak after working with a bunch of teachers this year!!

Yup, Angie, it is the way for us teachers. I don't know why either, because nothing is actually in our control. With how much stuff is thrown at us (literally and figuratively in my room!) Each day, you'd think we would be flexible. But, nope.

Very intriguing, Bethany. I think in a lot of ways, I have learned that lesson about the yokes of others...but, I still deal with my own enslaving yoke. I read Scripture like the book of James and I am overwhelmed by how not perfect I am. I beat myself up over every little and big failure. I see myself as the sum of broken parts, not capable of much, and probably really disappointing to God. Maybe that comes from other people, but really, it comes from within me; whether the source was other people initially or not, it is my yoke now. I don't know how to reconcile my faith in Christ and his grace with my inability to get things right without assigning a system of rules and regs like religions do. I guess that is what Ben means about it being messy. It's just hard for me right now, because it's messy and discouraging and I would rather it be messy and peaceful.

The sun is coming up and starting to peek in the windows. I am up doing my usual Sunday routine. I consider Sunday laundry day....odd, because I used to consider it church day. I don't anymore, although I have been attending church....but it just isn't the focal point of my life anymore, I guess. So, that has changed Sunday's for me....today, I am actually thinking I might just go for the music and then go for a walk. We shall see.

I look forward to my hour of power, as I have dubbed it....at the coffee shop. It is a Sunday highlight....and today, I know we will be doing things outdoors, which I love. So it is shaping up to be a good Sunday.

I hope you guys all have a fantastic day!

Yay! I am happy you are having an hour of power, Ang. Sounds wonderful!

Today when I went to get my grandma's paper, I did a thorough inspection of the still-a-bit-snowy flower beds and sure enough! There are a couple sprouts breaking through the frozen dirt and ice! Double Yay!

For me, today is breakfast, church, Alice in Wonderland, church again for that relationship gathering, grocery shopping, and then work. A busy day! BUTTTTT, we have a half day Thursday and then no school Friday and Monday! Yippee!

I am thinking about going to see Alice too....I suggested it last night, but we were asleep by 9:30 and so the late showing wasn't an option....I love Alice in Wonderland, and I think I have seen almost every version of it, but there are a lot, so maybe not...but I do want to see this one too...although, thus far, Martin Short is my favorite mad hatter.

Everyone was gone by 9 this morning. It was sort of sad being in the house all emptied out
I got cleaned up and headed to church. Learned there were technical problems with our church site so the sermon from last week should be up soon.

Then I came home and took a 4 hour nap, now I'm heading to an Oscar party
I missed you guys this weekend!

I really need to get motivated and get to the grocery store. I'm finally dug out of my financial hole and have a few bucks for groceries, now I need to put food in my cupboards. Now to figure out what meals to cook. hmmm....

It is dreary and cold on this Sunday morn. And I have no tolerance for it. It should be be spring weather already. Enough of this one foot in, one foot out business.

I have church stuff and house stuff and then it feels so good to know I don't work tomorrow! I am hoping the sun pops out for at least a bit tomorrow. So far, it's presence has only be indirect and I don't like it. One bit.

I closed last night and with the time change got to bed around 3:30am. I got a call this morning at 8am stating the opening manager was not at work and my boss asked if I would go in and open the store, by the time I got ready and phone tag ended I got there about 8:30 or so, already 1 1/2 hours behind schedule.

The manager that was supposed to be there finally showed up at 11am asking if she still had a job. I guess she still has a job, but she's got to deal with our boss tomorrow. It's not the first stunt like this she's pulled and I think it's wearing thin on our boss.

Oh well, now I'm off a couple of hours early, now what to do with myself. hmm....

Whelp, I'm all moved into the hotel for the week. I'm so tired, I'm just going to lay in the bed and watch tv, and maybe swim tonight.

Wow, that kinda sounds fun. Yes/No?

It's only ok. I mean it's nice because I know the big final piece is getting done this week but a pain in the ass because my kitties got super stressed out and are pissed at each other again plus having to be in a hotel.
I won't have housekeeping (because of the kitties) but I'll have continental breakfast and a pool!

It's cool you could bring the cats with you!

yeah I thought so. They're pretty pissed now but it would be so much worse if they were boarded.

Perfect outdoor weather this weekend. I know in a few months I'll be hating yardwork, but it was nice to be able to go out there and get some stuff done yesterday and today. And that's not to mention the time outside playing with the kids at the park, back yard, bike riding, baseball practice, etc. It was a great weekend!

It was lovely in Lynchburg too. We hiked this old trail that used to be a railroad....and it goes over 2 railroad bridges and on an island in the middle of the river, it was neat. The twins chose Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch, from where we were sitting we could count 35 tvs. I will never eat there again just because of that. It was sensory overload. The food was good. We got to go to church with Anne and Kris, and it was cool because Annie was doing special music and Kris plays in the worship team, so it was fun to be with them. Nate's other brother and his wife also came up from North Carolina for the day, so the twins had a great birthday capped off by going to see Alice and Wonderland with Kris. It was a really fun weekend.

Yay! I'm glad you had so much fun!

I skipped church this morning to catch up on my own bible studies, etc. I also have laundry and chores around the house that got put off because of the shower yesterday.

So, just getting back from breakfast with grandma where I saw my ex-brother in law. I saw him, he saw me, but we didn't acknowledge each other at all. Now I am all antsy. Bleck.

Need to jump into my Bible to get rid of this anxiety.

Church this morning, the 2nd week of a marriage series. It's been a really hard series for me, not because I long to get married but because I feel somehow damaged for not wanting to be married.
It's just a new and overwhelming feeling, blargh.
Back home to work on unpacking things and get settled back into the house. I've had all my windows open to air out the polyurethane smell and it's still a little stinky

We just did a marriage series at our church, bethany! Crazy! What are the points of yours?

Hmm, I don't think your damaged for not wanting to get married. And I don't think God would ever want you to feel that way either. Where do you think those thoughts originate?

Has anything happened with the mexico trip stuff?

Well, I don't know what all the points are because I haven't been going. I've just been serving and then going home.
Yesterday they were talking about communication in marriage and during first service Greg read the 1 Corinthians 7 it's not good for man to be alone scripture and proceeded to say, "Well but what you have to remember is this was way back then, when they thought Jesus was returning really soon" and basically went on to say that it's not good for man to be alone and we should all get married. I realize I have my own baggage but I burst into tear, which was awkward because I was in the lobby.

2nd service he didn't say anything like that, he just talked about abstaining from sex in a marriage is meant to be used to draw closer to God not to get back at your spouse.
So I don't know if he just mis-spoke 1st service or what. I can usually hang with these series', but this one is really making me uncomfortable and I don't know why...not uncomfortable like I want to get married and it's all new but uncomfortable like I feel for the first time in 5 years at my church slightly pushed out because I'm not married and don't have any immediate intention to be.

I'm trying to figure out where the thoughts come from and it's just really overwhelming. I'm trying to figure out if I don't want to get married because I'm angry and hurt still about relational baggage or if it's because I am not supposed to.
I know for sure that God is telling me no to dating and relationships for now period, so I just keep returning to that and trying to move forward as best as I can.

Nothing has happened really with Mexico, I'm meeting with Ben tonight about WP and plan on asking him about the email and drama then.

Well, it is Sunday afternoon. Rainy and a little dreary here....

Went to church, so my vain repetition for the week is complete!

Not a lot on the books today, but maybe Nate and I will go out for awhile and find some fun...who knows?

I hope you all have super fantastic Sundays.

yeah, it's raining here too. And cold.

We ad a pancake breakfast this morning. My grandpa was a Lions Club member, and it is a family tradition to go to their pancake breakfast on Palm Sunday. The first one without him.

I came home and took a little nap and have been doing some reading. I have work to do, but can't get motivated. I have church in an hour or so.