ADD and God

So, I've had a couple of interesting thoughts about God lately. I think I've mentioned before how I struggle with ADD. Well, I've been doing so good with eating healthy and exercising lately (still need to get more sleep though!) and have really been noticing the health benefits. The only problem is, in some ways this almost seems to enable my ADD. As I get more energy I am all of a sudden capable of more energetically following my distractions, becoming a little more hyperactive and restless. (I think I know of a couple of things that would help this, like breathing exercises, and more prayer and meditation.) But I find myself really being pissed off at my ADD.

Well, I'm in the middle of reading Mary Karr's memoir "Lit" (which is amazing, btw) and I'm in the part where she's really struggling to get sober. She's talking to a women who runs a halfway house and the woman is telling Mary her story. It's a pretty horrendous story. Had a pretty successful life that pretty much got thrown away by alcohol. She ends up almost killing herself, but instead "just" ends up in the hospital unconscious, paralyzed and unable to speak. When she finally comes to her husband tells her he wants a divorce. What shocks Mary most about hearing this story though, is when the woman tells her that she now looks at all of that as a gift. It almost pisses off Mary to hear this because she's at such a stage of self-loathing and discouragement that the idea of looking at something so horrendous as a gift is unfathomable to her.

So, while thinking of this section of the book I happen to read something somewhere else about people with anxiety disorder. How they tend to be much stronger than the average person. Because they've learned they have to really push through things in order to exist and live. And that when they finally start healing from the anxiety they're unstoppable. So, in a way, anxiety disorder could be looked at as a gift as well.

So then I start thinking about my ADD, and how pissed off I've been lately about having to deal with it. But then that famous quote from St. Augustine pops into my head: "Our souls are restless until they rest in Him." And I think, huh. What if people w/ ADD are just more aware (sometimes painfully so) of our souls' restlessness apart from God. Maybe they just have a heightened awareness of it. And if so, in some ways that could be a gift. If looked at this way, our ADD restlessness could really be seen as something thrusting us towards God. And once realized, being aware of that could really change our perspective. I mean, my restlessness, instead of being an impediment to getting work done, could really be an impetus towards God.

I'm not sure what practical benefit this has yet for me, but I know that just realizing this has really changed my attitude towards my ADD. I'm much less negative when I look at it like this and instead feel some hope and even some gratitude.

I don't know, just a few recent thoughts. We'll see how they play out!

wow, Dave those are great thoughts.

Wow, dave, that is spectacular. It actually brought tears to my eyes reading about you having such a beautiful realization.